🎙️ Episode 651: There’s No Talent on Dipsh!t Island 🏝️📺

🔌 Scott’s Cable Meltdown: Dipsh!t Island Population: Tech Support

• Scott’s cable provider (affectionately known as Dipsh!t Cable) tested every ounce of his sanity.
• All he wanted was an updated modem. What he got was condescension, rage, and the desire to commit federal crimes against routers.
• The worst part? He paid for this experience.

👟 Fashion Is Dead: Dirty Nikes for Clean Idiots

• Sadie introduces a new Nike shoe that’s made to look pre-dirtied. Scott thinks we’ve officially hit peak stupid.
• Why buy shoes that look like they lost a fight with a mud puddle when you could just live your life poorly and get the same look for free?
• Scott’s sneakerhead son tries to explain. Scott hears nothing but expensive nonsense.

👠 Stilettos: Torture Devices Disguised as Empowerment

• Sadie shares her awe for women who strut in stilettos like their feet aren’t actively planning a mutiny.
• Scott says they look great—right before launching into a rant about sensible orthopedic footwear.
• Conclusion: Beauty is pain, and some of you are masochists.

🧬 Health Update: Gout & the Rage That Comes With It

• Scott’s gout is flaring, and so is his appetite. Side effects of his meds include intense hunger and being a human rage monster.
• Sadie recommends celery. Scott recommends shutting up.

🏡 Politics, Panels & the Home Rule Hangover

• Scott attends a local panel on “home rule” in Colorado and walks away with more questions, fewer brain cells.
• Angry citizens, local officials, and one guy who thought it was a yard sale. Democracy in action.

🎂 Willie Nelson Has TWO Birthdays, Because of Course He Does

• Apparently Willie Nelson gets double the cake, and we’re not even mad.
• Honestly, if anyone deserves two birthdays, it’s the weed-smoking wizard of outlaw country.

📦 Moving: The Ultimate Friendship Test

• 38% of people hate helping friends move. The other 62% are lying or masochists.
• Scott’s advice? Hire movers. Or fake a gout flare and ghost the group chat.

🧊 Fridge Shame: Listener Edition

• We asked, you answered: What’s the most embarrassing thing in your fridge?
• Highlights include liquefied spinach, expired cottage cheese, and something that might’ve once been pasta.
• We’re proud and deeply disturbed.

⭐ Five-Star Thirst: Hydrate Us With Praise

• If you laughed, leave a review. If you didn’t, lie. It builds character.

💡 Key Takeaways

✔ Never trust customer service on Dipsh!t Island.
✔ Pre-dirtied sneakers are fashion’s death rattle.
✔ Stilettos = medieval foot binding with a marketing budget.
✔ Gout is the devil, and it’s hungry.
✔ Two birthdays are cool—unless you’re still paying off one cake.

🎧 Listen Now!

Whether you’re on hold with your cable company or scraping mystery goo off your fridge shelf, this episode will make you laugh, cringe, and probably feel a little better about your own dumpster fire of a life.

(AI Generated) Topics and Timestamps

Scott’s Rant on Cable Service (00:00:15)
Scott shares his frustrations with his cable provider, humorously dubbed “total dipshit cable.”

Modem Upgrade Discussion (00:01:20)
Scott discusses the forced upgrade of his modem and the implications of cutting cable services.

Customer Service Experience (00:04:10)
Scott recounts a frustrating interaction with customer service while trying to activate his new modem.

Sneaker Culture Commentary (00:07:29)
Sadie introduces a new Nike sneaker that starts off dirty and becomes cleaner with wear.

Sneaker Guy Debate (00:08:57)
Scott and Sadie discuss the absurdity of sneaker culture and the obsession with pristine shoes.

High Heels and Foot Pain (00:11:03)
The conversation shifts to women’s high heels and the discomfort they cause, relating it to personal experiences.

Scott’s Gout Struggles (00:12:22)
Scott shares his painful experience with gout and the effects of medication on his appetite and mood.

Cable Service Frustrations (00:14:28)
Scott expresses his frustrations with his cable service provider, humorously calling them “total dipshits.”

Podcast Cleanliness Debate (00:14:35)
Sadie comments on the podcast’s explicit content and the need to switch back to an explicit label.

Home Rule Discussion (00:15:40)
Scott discusses his participation in a panel about home rule counties in Colorado and their governance.

Audience Reaction (00:17:20)
Scott observes a large, angry crowd at the panel, highlighting the public’s frustration with local officials.

Recording Public Events (00:18:05)
Scott reflects on the trend of people recording public events instead of intervening in conflicts.

Meeting a Political Activist (00:19:00)
Scott shares his experience meeting Deb Flora, a political activist, at the home rule panel.

Nostalgia for Past Work (00:20:32)
Scott and Sadie reminisce about their past experiences in radio and the changes they’ve seen.

Willie Nelson’s Birthdays (00:22:27)
Scott shares an audio clip about Willie Nelson celebrating two birthdays, highlighting his unique story.

Worrying and Life’s Challenges (00:23:31)
Sadie discusses the contrast between rich people’s advice on worrying and everyday financial struggles.

Moving and Friendship (00:24:37)
Scott and Sadie talk about the challenges of moving and the reluctance of friends to help.

The Cost of Hiring Movers (00:25:35)
Scott reveals the high cost of hiring movers and shares his experiences with moving services.

Accumulating Stuff (00:26:40)
Scott reflects on the clutter in his office and the challenges of moving accumulated belongings.

Cigar Preferences (00:27:44)
Scott discusses his favorite cigars and his excitement for the upcoming cigar smoking season.

Discussion on Hobbies (00:28:45)
Scott and Sadie clarify that their interest is a hobby, not an addiction.

Email Sign-Up Promotion (00:28:52)
Scott promotes their daily email featuring various stories and polls.

Embarrassing Fridge Poll (00:29:13)
They introduce a poll about embarrassing items in listeners’ refrigerators.

Bad Pasta Salad Confession (00:29:41)
Sadie admits to having bad pasta salad in her fridge.

Tupperware Woes (00:29:53)
Scott discusses the use of disposable tupperware for easy disposal.

Furry Vegetables (00:30:22)
Sadie mentions mushy cucumbers that have gone bad in her fridge.

Spinach Health Fail (00:30:35)
Scott shares the audience’s top answer: a sad bag of liquefied spinach.

Cheese Supply (00:31:03)
Listeners comment on their excessive cheese supplies.

Old Egg Salad (00:31:14)
Lorena reveals her long-forgotten egg salad in the fridge.

Jalapeno Harvesting (00:31:46)
Scott humorously discusses his unsuccessful attempts at pickling jalapenos.

Apple Podcast Review Check (00:32:24)
Scott checks for new five-star reviews on Apple Podcasts.

Closing Remarks (00:32:48)
The episode concludes with a reminder to subscribe and sign up for emails.