Scott and SadieThe great scrambled egg debate: To milk or not to milk? That is the question. And, much like pineapple on pizza or the correct way to hang toilet paper (it’s over, you absolute savages), people have strong opinions about this. Your mom did it. Maybe her mom did it. Maybe all moms did it. But does that mean it was right? No. Because if moms were always right, we wouldn’t have bowl cuts immortalized in childhood photos.
Now, let’s break this down: What is the actual point of adding milk to scrambled eggs? Allegedly, it’s to make them creamier, fluffier, and more decadent. In reality? It just waters them down into a sad, pale, rubbery mess that tastes like regret. Seriously, if milk was so crucial to scrambled eggs, wouldn’t professional chefs be dumping gallons of it into their omelets? Spoiler: They’re not. Gordon Ramsay would have an aneurysm if he caught someone desecrating eggs like that. The French would probably deport you.
Here’s what happens when you add milk: The extra liquid messes with the cooking time, making the eggs more prone to overcooking while you’re standing there wondering why they’re releasing more water than a bad breakup. The result? A lumpy, curdled pile of something that resembles scrambled eggs only in spirit. It’s like trying to make mashed potatoes creamier by adding dishwater.
And let’s be honest—if you need to drown your eggs in dairy just to make them palatable, maybe the problem isn’t the eggs. Maybe it’s you. Good scrambled eggs don’t need life support. They need a little butter, maybe some salt, and the self-respect to let the eggs be eggs.
“But Scott and Sadie,” some of you will whimper, “I’ve always done it this way.” Yeah, well, humans used to think bloodletting was a good idea too. Just because something’s a tradition doesn’t mean it’s not objectively terrible.
Now, to be somewhat fair, if you like your eggs milked into oblivion, We’re not here to kick down your door and confiscate your dairy products. You do you. But if you’re asking for the correct way to make scrambled eggs? It’s eggs, butter, low heat, patience, and no unnecessary liquids. You’re making breakfast, not a science experiment.
Final verdict? Keep the milk in your cereal where it belongs. Let the eggs shine in all their rich, buttery glory. Your taste buds will thank you. Your ancestors who suffered through decades of bad eggs will thank you. And we won’t have to lose sleep knowing people are out here ruining breakfast like absolute maniacs.
