Scott and SadieLet’s face it: drinking is no longer about enjoying a beverage—it’s about making a statement. According to Food & Wine, 2024’s top drink trends are here to ensure you’re not just hydrating but doing it in the most pretentious way possible. Let’s dive into the snobby abyss of what we’ll be sipping next year.
Trend 1: “Health-Conscious Cocktails”
Apparently, the days of knocking back a good ol’ rum and Coke are gone. Now, it’s all about cocktails that “detox while you retox.” Think turmeric-infused vodka or gin made with activated charcoal. Because who doesn’t want their margarita to taste like a smoothie that lost its way?
Trend 2: “Ultraluxe Water”
Oh, you’re drinking tap water? Peasant. This year, it’s all about luxury water brands charging $20 a bottle because it’s “sourced from a glacier no one can pronounce.” Spoiler: it still tastes like water.
Trend 3: “Experiential Cocktails”
Your vodka tonic is no longer good enough unless it’s served in a glass made of ice and garnished with artisanal smoke. Some bars are now using VR headsets to “transport” you while you drink. Fun fact: the transport is back to your wallet, because these drinks cost $30 a pop.
Trend 4: “Zero-Waste Mixology”
Don’t toss that orange peel! It’s the star ingredient in 2024’s eco-conscious cocktails. These drinks are designed to save the planet one overpriced concoction at a time. Just don’t ask where the $18 you spent goes.
Trend 5: “Functional Beverages”
Imagine a drink that boosts focus, enhances sleep, and gives you glowing skin—while tasting like disappointment. Functional beverages are basically overpriced Kool-Aid with vitamins, and we’re all suckers for it.
Final Sip
The drink scene in 2024 is basically a competition to see how much money you can spend to look like you care about the planet, your health, and your “experience.” But hey, at least your Instagram will look good.
