Ever wondered what it would cost to shower your true love with all the extravagant gifts from “The Twelve Days of Christmas”? Brace yourself: in 2024, that grand gesture would set you back a whopping $49,263.47. That’s right—nearly fifty grand for a bunch of birds, dancers, and musicians. Let’s break down this financial fiasco.
A Partridge in a Pear Tree: $370.18
Kicking things off, a partridge nestled in a pear tree will lighten your wallet by $370.18. The partridge itself is a modest $20.18, but the pear tree? A cool $350. Apparently, fruit-bearing trees are the new luxury item.
Two Turtle Doves: $750
Next up, two turtle doves come in at $750. That’s a 25% increase from last year’s price of $600. Who knew lovebirds were such a hot commodity?
Three French Hens: $240
Three French hens will cost you $240. Because nothing says “I love you” like overpriced poultry.
Four Calling Birds: $599.96
Four calling birds are priced at $599.96. At this rate, you might as well invest in a parrot that can recite Shakespeare.
Five Gold Rings: $1,245
The iconic five gold rings will set you back $1,245. Gold prices are up, so maybe consider silver?
Six Geese-a-Laying: $780
Six geese-a-laying come in at $780. That’s a lot of eggs, but also a lot of cash.
Seven Swans-a-Swimming: $13,125
Hold onto your wallet: seven swans-a-swimming cost a staggering $13,125. Swans are apparently the yachts of the bird world.
Eight Maids-a-Milking: $58
Eight maids-a-milking are a bargain at $58. But good luck finding anyone willing to milk cows for $7.25 an hour.
Nine Ladies Dancing: $8,308.12
Nine ladies dancing will cost you $8,308.12. Apparently, hiring dancers is pricier than you’d think.
Ten Lords-a-Leaping: $14,539.20
Ten lords-a-leaping come in at $14,539.20. Because aristocratic acrobatics don’t come cheap.
Eleven Pipers Piping: $3,207.84
Eleven pipers piping will set you back $3,207.84. Bagpipes: the gift that keeps on giving…headaches.
Twelve Drummers Drumming: $3,468
Finally, twelve drummers drumming cost $3,468. Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a dozen drummers in your living room.
Total Cost: $49,263.47
So, if you’re planning to reenact this classic carol, be prepared to shell out nearly $50,000. Or, you know, you could buy a nice car or make a down payment on a house. But hey, who needs financial stability when you can have a yard full of noisy birds and random performers?