Scott and SadieJust when you thought holiday marketing couldn’t get more absurd, KFC UK has decided to up the ante with lickable wrapping paper. Yes, you read that right. Now, not only can you clog your arteries with their fried chicken, but you can also savor the flavor by licking your presents. (KFC Shop)
This limited-edition wrapping paper is designed by some “emerging artist” named SOLDIER, because apparently, even your gift wrap needs a backstory. It’s infused with the taste of KFC’s Original Recipe Chicken, cranberry sauce, and a hint of sage from their stuffing patty. Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like slobbering over your gifts before you open them.
But hold your horses, folks. Before you start licking everything under the tree, KFC warns that this paper is “not intended for human consumption.” So, it’s flavored but not edible. Makes perfect sense, right? They even advise peeling off a protective cover to access the lickable areas, and caution against sharing these spots. Because sharing is caring, except when it comes to saliva.
And for all you vegans and vegetarians out there, don’t worry. KFC has thoughtfully made this product unsuitable for you too. So, everyone gets to feel left out. Oh, and it’s not suitable for children under five, because apparently, they have standards.
In a world where we already have bacon-scented candles and pizza-flavored lip balm, KFC’s lickable wrapping paper is the holiday gimmick we never asked for but got anyway. So, this Christmas, if you find yourself licking your presents, just remember: society has officially peaked.
