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Next Pope Reveal: Smoke Signals This Week

The next pope could be revealed this week—with smoke signals, not fireworks. Will it be black or white smoke rising over the Sistine Chapel? 🕊️

The next pope could be revealed this week, and they’re going to announce it like a GENDER REVEAL PARTY.  Don’t worry:  The cardinals aren’t going to be shooting pyrotechnics at each other in a neighborhood park.

Senior members of the Catholic Church will gather on Wednesday for a “conclave” to determine the next pope.  There are 135 cardinal electors, and the deliberations happen in secret, behind locked doors.

A successor for Pope Francis needs a two-thirds majority.  And the only way the world will know that a new pope has been chosen is through SMOKE SIGNALS.

Vatican workers attached a special chimney atop the Sistine Chapel this past Friday.  And with each vote, they’ll burn their ballots in a stove.  (Unfortunately, Jeff Probst will not be brought in to read the votes.)

If BLACK SMOKE comes out of the chimney, the cardinals aren’t in agreement and will need to vote again.  Once WHITE smoke can be seen from the chimney, it signals to the public that the Roman Catholic Church has a new leader.

There’s no need for PINK smoke, because the next pope cannot be a woman.  Women cannot be ordained as priests, a prerequisite for becoming pope.

It’s unclear how long the process will take.

The conclave holds two rounds of voting each morning, and another two in the afternoon, until they reach a consensus.  All of the conclaves over the past century have ended in under four days.

Francis was elected pope at the end of the conclave’s second day in 2013.

(NPR / USA Today)

Related Comedy:  Top 5 Other Conclave Smoke Signals

To be clear, the black smoke / white smoke thing was NOT inspired by gender reveal parties.  They’ve been doing it for 100 years.  Here’s video of the white smoke from when Pope Francis was chosen 12 years ago.

Scott and Sadie

Meet Scott and Sadie: the anti-heroes of morning radio turned podcast renegades. Scott’s 40 years in broadcasting have left him fluent in snark, while Sadie’s nepotistic origins (thanks, Mom!) brought the unfiltered charm that made them a Northern Colorado favorite. After corporate radio ghosted them harder than a bad Tinder date, the duo ditched FCC babysitters and went full rogue. Now, they’re back with a podcast that’s equal parts wit, sarcasm, and a big middle finger to mediocrity. Loyal fans, curious newcomers, or algorithm strays—welcome to the chaos.

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