Scott and SadieIf you live to be 80 years old, you’ll have lived for 29,220 days. You probably spent 230,000 hours sleeping . . . 90,000 hours working . . . 32,000 hours eating and drinking . . . and 1,000 hours trying to untangle knots.
Now that almost everything about our lives can be tracked, someone asked the internet, “What stats would you like to see after your death?” And here are some of the best responses . . .
1. “How many times I almost died without realizing it.”
2. “How many times I’d made someone feel good about themselves without knowing it.”
3. “Number of people who were attracted to me, while I had no idea.”
4. “Number of successful backflips landed.” (The person added that they’re “absolutely certain” they landed one . . . but their friends say it didn’t count. So seeing a final stat would “make it official.”) (???)
5. “Top 5 songs I’d listened to . . . plus how many times I’d heard each.” (So a LIFE-end Spotify Wrapped. Others suggested this, but for MOVIES.)
6. “How many times my body successfully destroyed a cancer before it could take hold.”
7. “Total pounds pooped, along with the biggest one I’ve ever done.”
8. “Number of times I made someone laugh.”
9. “Not a stat, but I want a replay of the top 100 funniest things I’d witnessed.”
10. “Not a stat, but I want a gallery of pictures where I’m visible in other people’s photos, without my knowing.”
11. “How many times I’d used each letter of the alphabet.”
12. “How many diapers I’d changed.”
13. “Times I almost stepped on a turd.”
14. “Gambling results . . . preferably broken down in a spreadsheet, by year, sport, activity, and bet type.” (???)
15. “How many cats I’ve petted.” (Literally, not a euphemism.)
If you could see stats about your own life, what would you want to know? Share your most curious (or absurd) ideas in the comments below. Let’s get philosophical—or hilariously weird!
