Scott and SadieLet’s face it: pets and Christmas trees are a match made in hell. You want a cozy, Instagram-worthy holiday setup, and your furry friend wants to turn it into a war zone. Thankfully, we’ve got the ultimate snarky guide to keeping your tree standing—because untangling lights for the fifth time isn’t the holiday tradition anyone wants.
5. Go Artificial or Go Home
We know, we know. Real trees smell amazing and look classy. But to your dog, that fresh pine scent is basically a giant pee invitation. And cats? They see it as Mount Everest with branches. An artificial tree might not be as Instagrammable, but it’s less likely to become your pet’s personal toilet.
4. Skip the Tinsel (Unless You Like Vet Bills)
Tinsel is shiny, sparkly, and apparently irresistible to pets. Unfortunately, it’s also a one-way ticket to an expensive surgery if Fluffy decides it’s her new snack. Do yourself a favor: skip the glittery death ribbons and opt for pet-safe ornaments instead.
3. Anchor That Bad Boy
If your tree isn’t secured tighter than Santa’s belt on Christmas Eve, you’re asking for trouble. Use a sturdy base or, better yet, tie the tree to the wall. Sure, it might look like you’re living in a holiday hostage situation, but it’s better than watching your tree topple over mid-Christmas dinner.
2. Ornament Triage
Put the breakable and sentimental ornaments at the top of the tree—out of paw’s reach. Keep the cheap, unbreakable ones at the bottom. That way, when Fido inevitably swipes at something, the worst-case scenario is a plastic snowman rolling across the floor instead of grandma’s antique angel shattering into a thousand pieces.
1. Barricade Like It’s Fort Knox
If all else fails, throw aesthetics out the window and barricade the tree. Baby gates, pens, or even an elaborate moat of empty boxes will do the trick. Will it look ridiculous? Absolutely. But so will a tree lying sideways with your cat smugly sitting on top.
