Harvard Freshman Survey 2028: Spoiler Alert, They’re Rich, Anxious, and Not as Special as They Think

Harvard. That mythical land of overachievers, legacy admissions, and enough trust funds to make your head spin. Every year, Harvard surveys its incoming freshman class to reveal just how extra these kids are. This year’s survey? A wild ride through privilege, anxiety, and just a sprinkle of naïve optimism. Let’s dive into the chaos.

Wealth: Shocker, They’re Loaded

First, let’s talk money. A whopping 29% of these fresh-faced scholars come from families earning $250,000 or more annually. Yep, nearly a third of the Class of 2028 probably thinks avocado toast is a basic breakfast. Meanwhile, only 3% reported coming from households making less than $40,000. Inclusivity? Sure, if you count the one kid on financial aid awkwardly attending yacht parties.

Legacy Kids: The Dynasty Continues

Nearly a quarter of the class are legacy students—aka, the spawn of alumni. Translation? The acceptance rate might be 3%, but your odds improve if Dad’s name is on a library. These kids are living proof that meritocracy is just a fun word we tell the masses to keep them hopeful.

Mental Health: An Epidemic of Stress

Despite their cushy upbringings, 60% of surveyed freshmen admitted to experiencing anxiety or depression. And while mental health struggles are no joke, you can’t help but wonder if some of these kids would calm down if they stopped obsessing over whether their fifth extracurricular looks good on LinkedIn.

Politics: Left-Leaning, With a Sprinkle of Chaos

No surprises here: the majority lean liberal, with 74% identifying as such. But don’t expect any kumbaya moments. These kids are ready to argue over how progressive is progressive enough. Watching their Thanksgiving dinner debates must be a sport.

What Does It All Mean?

Harvard’s Class of 2028 is exactly what you’d expect: overachieving, privileged, and so riddled with anxiety that they make middle schoolers at a spelling bee look zen. But hey, at least they’re self-aware—53% admitted they don’t deserve their spot. Good on them for recognizing what the rest of us have already figured out.

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