Scott and SadieIn a move that would make Willy Wonka facepalm, a Guatemalan courier thought he could smuggle nearly $900,000 worth of cocaine into the U.S. by hiding it in hot chocolate packages. Yes, because nothing says “innocent traveler” like hauling 28 pounds of cocoa powder with a side of nose candy. (WJLA)
This culinary caper unfolded at Washington Dulles International Airport, where Customs and Border Protection (CBP) officers, clearly not born yesterday, discovered the stash. The cocaine was cleverly concealed between layers of coffee grounds and under a double layer of chocolate bars. Because, of course, if you hide drugs under enough chocolate, they become invisible, right?
The courier, whose name remains undisclosed—probably to spare his family the embarrassment—was arrested but later released after prosecutors couldn’t directly link him to the cocaine. So, let me get this straight: he was carrying enough blow to make Tony Montana blush, but we can’t pin it on him? Bravo, justice system.
CBP’s Area Port Director, Marc E. Calixte, stated, “Drug trafficking organizations continue trying to smuggle their illicit narcotics into the United States, but vigilant Customs and Border Protection officers are relentless in their efforts to intercept these smuggling attempts and to protect our communities from the scourge of dangerous drugs.” Translation: “Nice try, but we’ve seen this trick before.”
This isn’t the first time smugglers have tried to sweeten their shipments. In previous incidents, cocaine has been found in candy, cream jars, and even drink boxes. It’s almost as if they think CBP officers have the IQ of a chocolate bar.
So, here’s a pro tip for aspiring smugglers: if your grand plan involves hiding drugs in your snack stash, maybe reconsider your life choices. Or at least come up with a scheme that isn’t as transparent as a windowpane. Until then, keep providing us with these laughable attempts—it’s the comic relief we didn’t know we needed.
